


Waiting For You

by edgy_fluffball



Category: Critical Role (Web Series)
Genre: A Watchful Raven, Afterlife, Background Vax'ildan (Critical Role), Bittersweet Ending, Caleb Widogast Has Feelings, Closure, Doing everything for your friends, Everything is Beautiful and Everything Hurts, Is It Angst?, M/M, Mighty Nein as Family, Mollymauk Tealeaf Has Feelings, Past Character Death, Past Feelings, Resurrection, Talking To Dead People, Temporary Character Death
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-12-28
Updated: 2019-12-28
Packaged: 2021-02-24 18:34:01
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,296
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22002553
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/edgy_fluffball/pseuds/edgy_fluffball
Summary: Caleb goes down for good during a fight. Whilst his friends attempt to resurrect him, he meets the person he never got close enough to in life.
Relationships: Mollymauk Tealeaf/Caleb Widogast
Comments: 8
Kudos: 143





	Waiting For You

**Author's Note:**

  * For [infinityandluck](https://archiveofourown.org/users/infinityandluck/gifts).



> My darling friend gave me a Widomauk prompt!

He had been against it from the start. Their plan had been good and well-thought out, Beau and Fjord had worked on it through the night, talking to him and asking him for advice every now and them. He had tried to tell them that their plan was good enough but he would not work in the field.

There were certain things about the Mighty Nein that had to be taken into account whenever they entered a fight they knew about beforehand. Jester did not like to heal anyone whilst still fighting, Caduceus almost exclusively healed, Nott hid and would not leave her hiding spots voluntarily, Yasha could not be relied on - no matter how long she stayed with them, one night could make a huge difference or surprise all of them - and it was hard to calculate when the fight got close enough for Beau to really interact and actually use her abilities.

It had been Caleb’s approach to plan and leave room for alterations and spontaneous changes, multiply their possibilities and options until they were flexible enough to affect their opponent. With everything they had talked about, he had insisted on pointing out how important it was to adapt and adjust in the moment.

He had pointed it out multiple times and, at the time, it had seemed as if Fjord and Beau had listened to him. Their plan could even have worked out - with some mild changes, if it had not been for a whole chain of reactions. First, Nott had found no space to hide, then, Caduceus had been knocked out. Fjord and Beau had tried to keep their opponents away from him and the others alive and Caleb, Caleb had tried to help within his means.

Yasha had been under fire the whole time, literally. The party guarding and abusing the artefact the Gentleman had asked them to retrieve had a wizard in their ranks. Caleb had tried to fight fire with fire, also literally, until he had found himself stepping forward, away from the wall that had covered his back. She had been in a predicament, he told himself, as he gathered all the courage he could muster up and reached into his pocket for a few ingredients. Rubbing his fingers together, he let the energy run through his veins, muttered the words deeply ingrained in his brain and moved his hands in a few short motions before pointing his finger out, away from him.

The bright light of the fire burst from his hands with sparks scattering in all directions. It hit most of their enemies, since he had scooted halfway around the room, towards the opposing side, far away from his friends. The effect was imminent, arriving like a punishment from the gods.

The other wizard screamed in pain, the smell of burning flesh filled the stone chamber, followed by a sizzling noise that filled his ears. Caleb froze. The orange, red and yellow flames licked along the walls, igniting more and more as they roared through the room.

It was the sounds, the smell, the flames angrily roaring and the sight of people dancing as they burned and hurt, tried to stomp out the fire or fled. It brought back memories, reminded him of what he was and opened up possibilities. It showed him a glimpse of what he could achieve, if he pushed aside the qualms. It had been what he had been taught, to unlock the potential and the power, push further and get where he could, not thinking about the cost.

Even, if it was his life that was at stake.

‘Caleb! Watch out!’

The scream came too late for him. He had left the cover provided by the wall behind him, stepped farther out into the open space and was not in full view in the light provided by his fire. He had made himself a target.

A crossbow bolt came flying out of a dark corner, followed by a dagger. The pain surged through him, from his abdomen first as the bolt hit. Then, from his legs as the dagger impaled his thigh, cutting open the veins above his knee. He felt the blood pour from his guts, warm and tingly on his skin.

He felt light-headed and dizzy as his knees buckled and gave out underneath him. For a moment, his vision got clouded and hazy, he saw stars and felt like throwing up. Then, it all disappeared again and he felt calm, cushioned, almost.

‘No worries,’ he whispered, one hand clutched to his chest where another crossbow bolt had embedded itself above his heart, ‘Jester will be with you shortly. You are alright.’

Black spots started to creep into his vision and blotted out the edges of his sight.

‘No worries at all,’ he choked on a mouthful of blood and felt his eye lids grow heavier, ‘it’s all over soon.’

‘Caleb!’

Everything was dark. He felt the ground under his body, soft, as if grass and moss, and the humidity rising into his clothing. There were a few sounds around him that he could still hear, some dripping, almost like water rushing. As he tried to concentrate a little more, more sounds were registered by his brain.

A soft croak came from near-by.

‘A raven?’ Caleb asked, more to himself than to anyone else, his friends were likely still involved in combat, ‘how does a raven get into a stone cellar?’

‘I don’t know, sounds like a wonderful riddle. Does it have an answer?’

Caleb tried to get up and off the ground. He pushed himself onto his elbows, trying to peek through the black darkness. It took him a moment but then he realised his eyes were still closed.

The darkness gave way to more light than he had expected, going by the room he had been in when he had been hit. It had been a dark, damp dungeon and their torches had gone out before the fight started. Even his fire had not managed to cast light into all corners of the room before and yet, he could see it all laid out before him.

The wet stone walls, overgrown with moss and mushrooms, had disappeared. Instead, he found himself on a wide plane. There were no walls around him, no ceiling or sky, just white nothing. The grass beneath his hands and legs was soft to the touch and white, as well. The blades swayed in the warm wind, flower heads were bent under its strength.

Caleb rubbed his eyes with one hand, tracing his jaw and chest. He still wore his coat, wrapped around his shoulders but it seemed better, with fewer holes and cleaner, too. The blood was gone from where the crossbow bolts had impacted, his shirt was clean, save for black marks, stitched into his clothes where the wounds should have been. They looked like feathers.

‘It’s a lot to take in at first, isn’t it? Took me a minute, too, but you get used to it.’

‘Where am I?’

‘What does it look like?’

Caleb looked around. There were no colours in the land around him, only the shapes of hills and planes and creeks, markers and reminders of journeys he should not be able to remember. Nevertheless, they were still there, in his head, recalling themselves in a way he had no control over. He recognised the land all around him as the rolling hills and sandy river banks between Trostenwald and Alfield, where the Nein had begun.

‘Why here?’

‘It proves more important, yet. A big moment, an influence. One moment is enough to change a life, to drive it off the path in front of it and into an entirely different direction. Sometimes, it takes nothing more than someone you meet to give you enough of a shove to adopt another course in the long run. Look at you, you’ve come so far from the scared, wary fugitive who hid in the shadow, spending half the night thinking about whether you should spend another day in Nott’s presence or dodge her, let alone gather a whole group of friends.’

‘Who pushed me onto the new path?’

Laughter rippled through the air, soft and easy as a summer morning. Caleb looked around again, over the wide landscapes and vast emptiness of it. There was no one there, he sat on a small rise in the fields, all drained of colour and life and yet, beautiful and eternal at the same time. The sound was warm and familiar, settling in a wish, a sudden longing in his chest that formed itself, aching and hurting in the best way possible. Caleb closed his eyes again and listened to his surroundings.

The pleasant sound of birds singing, the water flowing in its translucent banks and the grass rustling under some weight. It seemed to come towards him, one step after another, as little twigs snapped and ripped, clothes rustled and slow breaths hit the skin in his neck. Caleb tried to keep himself from turning back over his shoulder.

The ground gave in a little next to him and a relaxed sigh filled the air around him. Caleb let his hands glide over the grass, feeling it under his fingers. Then, there was more, not grass but fingers and skin, warm to the touch and somewhat twitchy.

‘Am I dead?’

‘For a little while, maybe,’ the voice said with a smile, ‘I think they learned a lot now.’

Caleb finally opened his eyes and turned around. Molly looked at him with a welcoming smile, his skin as lavender as in life and with his clothes representing all colours of the rainbow.

‘I’ve waited quite a while for you to visit me,’ he said, opening his arms, ‘and I am glad you are here now.’

Caleb accepted the invitation and hugged him back, wrapping his arms around him. He let his head sink against his shoulder and remained there for a moment.

‘I died,’ he sighed, ‘it happened so fast.’

‘Tends to happen fast,’ Molly smiled, ‘believe me, they’ll get you back. We might not have much time.’

They stared ahead for a moment, leaning against each other, Caleb’s hand grasped in Molly’s. The calm around them lured them into an almost dozy state, only interrupted by the call of a raven every now and then. Caleb tried to spot the bird and thought to catch a glimpse of it on a tree not too far away from them.

‘He watches over us,’ Molly explained quietly, stroking Caleb’s hair, ‘he keeps me company sometimes. We oversee our loved ones together, chat, and kill time.’

‘A raven?’

‘He’s not always a raven,’ the amused tone in Molly’s voice made Caleb look up, ‘his family is as found and stitched together as ours.’

‘Our family,’ Caleb tasted the sound of it on his tongue, ‘I miss you, Molly. Every day.’

‘I miss you, too, Caleb. I can’t wait to have you back with me. Properly, not before your time, after a life cut short by something that should not be.’

‘You still think I’m here only temporarily?’

‘Definitely,‘ Molly nudged him in the side of his head with a horn, ‘shall we just sit here together for as long as possible?’

‘Like during that time on the road? When we shared the watch?’

‘Exactly like that night, yes,’ Molly wrapped his arm around Caleb, ‘do you remember what I told you before Nott started to talk in her sleep?’

‘You told me you would be with us. You were trying to persuade me to stay with the group after I contemplated running away again. You said you wanted to help me come to realise something,’ Caleb traced the tattoos on Molly’s hand, ‘you never got around to telling me.’

‘True,’ Molly stretched his feet out in front of them.

For some time, they did not say a word, Molly seemed to try and find the words to say and Caleb thought back to the night he had mentioned. Back then, he had not yet trusted Molly with his heated glances and vivid eyes. They had scared him because they reminded him of something he did not think about anymore. Once he had felt ready to acknowledge them, they had been in Hupperdook. In hindsight, getting drunk had been one of their better ideas since it had prompted Caleb to let down his guards a little, enough for Molly to muster up the courage and look after him after Jester had taken him upstairs and to bed. Their drunken conversation had brought them to an agreement.

Take it slow. Accept their boundaries. Do not overwhelm Caleb.

It had seemed easy enough at the time. Then, they had encountered the Iron Shepherds. Caleb had spent a lot of time mourning something he had never had, ever since.

‘Molly,’ he began again, resting his head on his shoulder and playing with the amulet around his neck, ‘do you still -‘

‘Oh Caleb,’ Molly sounded sad for a moment, ‘I am still as I was the moment I left you.’

‘Frozen in time.’

‘One could say that, I suppose. All you need to concern yourself with is that I still feel the same way about you as I did when you were slobbering drunkenly all over me.’

‘Stop it,’ Caleb did not know whether he blushed but it felt better to hide in the folds of Molly’s clothing, anyway, ‘I was in a vulnerable state.’

Molly pressed a quick kiss to his temple, ‘And I loved you all the more for it.’

Silence settled back between them, until the raven croaked again, flapping his wings excitedly. Molly looked up and nodded at him softly before looking back down to the man in his arms who had closed his eyes again and breathed evenly. He seemed half asleep.

‘Caleb,’ he carefully shifted against him, ‘I think our time might be coming to an end. Your resurrection must be imminent.’

‘I don’t want to leave you again.’

‘What are you talking about?’

‘I’ll lose you again, Molly, that’s what I’m talking about. I got to see you now, how am I supposed to go back to being without you? Knowing you are waiting here for me doesn’t make it better. How does one cope with knowing you’re so close, yet so far away, where do you find comfort? What do you do?’

Molly kissed his forehead again, burying his nose in his hair before he spoke again, ‘There is nothing but the certainty of knowledge. You must be sure about what you know about them. You watch over them, always. You remember. No matter the physical distance or the ethereal plane, you find ways to remind them that you’re always going to be close by in mind and spirit. Nothing can come between you, even when you know there is a distance. They’ll find a home in you.’

Caleb turned around, looking up at him, trying to convey his love for him in nothing but a single glance. Molly’s eyes glistened with silvery tears, his lips quavered as he tried to force them into a smile but the devastation was writ large in his face. He pulled him into his lap, cradling his head in his hands and bending down over him. He closed his eyes, allowing himself to feel more than he had in eternities. Caleb met his lips and melted into his touch.

‘Did you hear me?’ Molly whispered against his lips a moment later, ‘You’re my home.’

‘And you are mine,’ Caleb responded, keeping his eyes closed, ‘I fear you won’t still be there when I open my eyes again.’

‘You don’t need to see me to know I’m always there with you, love,’ Molly whispered again, the smile back in his voice, ‘always.’

‘Caleb?’

There was something soft cushioning his head but his back protested against the hard ground underneath him. He felt heavy, as if his bones had been cast in lead within his body and kept him on the ground, unable to move.

‘I think he moved, did he move, Caduceus?’

‘Patience, little one. Give him some time. This would take a toll on anyone.’

He opened his eyes and tried to look around. Caduceus sat at his feet cross-legged, a comforting smile on his lips. Jester and Beau kneeled to his sides, both bruised and scraped all over. Fjord and Yasha seemed to stand guard but turned when they saw him move.

‘Nott?’ He heard his voice, sounding entirely unsure of himself and his surroundings, ‘Nott, are you here, too?’

‘Who do you think is holding your head, huh? Are you feeling alright, Caleb?’

‘Yes, I think so,’ he sat up, steadying himself on the ground.

They had moved him outside, he sat in the cool shadow of the grove they had traversed before entering the dungeon, propped up in Nott’s lap. It had probably been to accommodate Caduceus as he resurrected him.

‘Yes, I think I am. Bit worn but nothing I couldn’t walk off.’

‘Caleb - you died,’ Fjord crossed his arms, ‘it took us some time to get a diamond worth enough, we had the money but diamonds are hard to come by. Do you remember anything?’

Caleb pushed his hair back, out of his face. His clothes were stained and caked with dried blood. It would take him some effort to clean them up, if he ever managed to do it.

His friends still watched him as he stood up, ‘I don’t know how long it took you. I think I got to enter another plane of existence, I - I had a dream, I think.’

‘A dream?’ Jester seemed interested enough to leave Nott be who she had whispered to, ‘what kind of dream, did you meet a god? Did you find something out about the secret of existence?’

Caleb shrugged, ‘You think there is something for us after we die?’

‘Sure, it’s where you meet your loved ones again. Did you see anything? Or anyone?’

He took Yasha’s hand in his and squeezed it, ‘The only one who matters.’

They broke camp after a little while, loading everything onto the cart. Caleb hung behind for a moment once everybody got ready to inspect the remains of his wounds. There was no sign of any obvious scarring, only dried blood on his skin.

A single caw got his attention. On a low branch above his head sat a raven, ruffling his feathers until it puffed up a little. Caleb watched as the bird spread its wings and soared downwards, towards him. It landed on a tree trunk a little to the side and cocked its head. Black, pearly eyes remained on him as he moved, carefully, afraid of spooking it by accident.

Instead, the bird flapped its wings again, flying over to him. Caleb jumped when talons dug into his coat. The raven cawed again before pushing its head into the crook of his neck.

‘Oh,’ he said softly, feeling his breath hitch, ‘you really meant it, didn’t you?’

The raven cawed quietly and rubbed its head against his skin. Its clever eyes watched as Caleb walked them over to the cart where Frumpkin lay curled up in Beau’s lap. His cat did not seem to mind the bird but then again, Frumpkin was not as much a cat as the raven a bird.

‘You didn’t really answer my question,’ Jester said, turning around back over her shoulder, ‘what did you dream about?’

Caleb ran his fingers through the soft feathers, feeling the small heart beat beneath them. She seemed not to have noticed the raven on her friend’s shoulder.

He smiled at her, gaze drifting off towards the horizon, ‘Home.’

**Author's Note:**

> Say Hello on my [Critical Role blog](https://calebs-coat-collar.tumblr.com/) :)


End file.
